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TV Times' top 20 lines from Car Share

To celebrate Car Share's eagerly-awaited arrival on DVD, we proudly present TV Times' top 20 lines from Peter Kay and Sian Gibson's classic sitcom. 

Which one's your favourite? Have we missed any biggies? Let us know below in our comments section.

Episode one

"Alright, Freddie, keep your vest on!"

"My problem is, my clock's ticking now and my eggs are already nearly past their use-by-date. If I don't get a spurt on, they'll be whoopsed!"


"It’s in my mouth!"

Episode two


"Kayleigh love, do you fancy going dogging again after Corrie?"

Episode three


"I thought it was Carol Decker staggering out your house!"


"Lady Diana"


"Sushi isn’t fish, John. It’s wrestling"

Episode four


"I was sat in my onesie picking crisps out of me teeth, thinking, 'I bet Beyonce doesn’t do this'”


"You’ll be telling me dinosaurs existed next. Bones schmones, you’ve been brainwashed! …They just look ridiculous, like stupid, and they weren’t in the Bible. They weren’t at the Nativity, they weren’t on Noah’s Ark. The stories don’t match!"


"The only hell I know is standing in the middle of an aisle trying to get people to sample my mini cheddars"


John: If me dad ever saw an hearse he used to have to hold his collar until he saw a four-legged animal

Kayleigh: How annoying

John: You’re telling me. He was an undertaker, got sod all done


"I snogged a tinker with moobs. He had really rough skin on his hands. Must’ve been from spinning all them waltzers"


"What time’s the circus? Look at your face, Coco!"


John: Anaphylactic?

Kayleigh: I don’t know her name

Episode five


Kayleigh: I’ve got summat for your arm…

John: Painkillers?

Kayleigh: Crème Egg!


John: How do you know what's right for me?

Kayleigh: Well, I know it's not that slapper

John: I thought you were friends?

Kayleigh: We are!


Kayleigh: Do I have an afro?

John: Yes

Kayleigh: Am I snoopy?

Episode six


"I’d like to see you parading around in a pair of leggings when you’ve mislaid your Spanx"


"I’ve not got much to show for my time on this Earth, Jon. 36 pairs of shoes and a set of Babyliss crimpers"


"Scrape through those beans and there’s a phone number for the British Heart Foundation"

What did we miss? Let us know below in our comments section…