Think about it. What if we took half of tonight's prime-time shows and turned them into a SINGLE PRIME-TIME BLOCK OF AWESOME. Take The Conners and pair them up against SEAL Team and stick them all in the Ultimate Tag arena. Then let 'em just kinda go at each other for a while.
Then the *Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. show up and just kind of blast everyone with some sort of ray gun, and that's the end of all that.
Or, we can just keep on reading for the rest of what's on TV today. All times are Eastern.
Wednesday's prime-time shows
- Tough as Nails, CBS, 8 p.m.: Meet the 12 TOUGH AS NAILS challengers competing on the new reality series that celebrates everyday Americans who get their hands dirty while working long, hard hours to keep the country running.
- The Goldbergs, ABC, 8 p.m.: Beverly discovers Murray is actually a year younger than they knew so she plans a do-over at celebrating his 50th birthday, while Coach Mellor attempts to prepare non-athletic Adam for tryouts for pickleball.
- Chicago Med, NBC, 8 p.m.: A convicted murderer's escape hits close to home when several members of the team find themselves in danger. Dr. Charles and Dr. Halstead continue to clash over patient treatment plans. Dr. Choi and April discover the truth about a patient's scam.
- **The Top 16 home cooks fight for immunity in an epic team challenge. Split into two teams, the corresponding captains are immersed in Italian cuisine, as they head to Joe Bastianich's Los Angeles restaurant, Osteria Mozza.
- The 100, The CW, 8 p.m.: larke confronts a new adversary. A surprising connection takes us back to the past and the nuclear apocalypse that destroyed the Earth.
- Black-ish, ABC, 8:30 p.m.: The Johnsons go on vacation at an all-inclusive beach resort in paradise. Dre and Bow meet a couple without kids and live a kid-less fantasy for a while but soon begin to crave their kid-filled reality. Junior catches the eye of a cute girl at the resort.
- The Conners, ABC, 9 p.m.: The Conners struggle to accept a Cheesehead in their midst when Becky brings her new boyfriend, a devout Christian and a Green Bay Packers fan, home to watch the Bears-Packers game.
- Chicago Fire, NBC, 9 p.m.: A pest control problem forces the 51 team to temporarily bunk with Firehouse 20. All under the same roof, Casey clashes with Capt. Delaney while Foster, Kidd and Brett fear Capt. Leone has it out for them.
- Ultimate Tag, Fox, 9 p.m.: Six more contestants enter the Tag Arena, but only two will leave with $10,000 as they look to outrun elite Taggers with a range of jaw-dropping skills. The NFL's Watt brothers (J.J., T.J. and Derek) host.
- American Housewife, ABC, 9:30 p.m.: When Anna-Kat begins exhibiting past OCD behaviors, Katie and Greg worry their busy schedules are disrupting the family. Meanwhile, Oliver fields a call at the Teen Help Line center that rattles him.
- SEAL Team, CBS, 10 p.m.: While Jason is sidelined with an injury, Ray takes over as Bravo 1 and leads the team on a mission to rescue a marine pilot who was shot down in enemy territory.
- Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., ABC, 10 p.m.: The totally excellent adventures of Mack and the D.
- Chicago P.D., NBC, 10 p.m.: An armed robbery case quickly turns into a homicide investigation. When one suspect's background suggests domestic violence, Upton is forced to reckon with her childhood. Voight and Halstead butt heads over Halstead's righteous instinct.
Wednesday's late-night shows
- The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, NBC, 11:34 p.m.: Beastie Boys Mike D and Ad-Rock, actress Anna Kendrick, Dan White.
- Late Show With Stephen Colbert, CBS, 11:35 p.m.: Kumail Nanjiani, music from Andra Day.
- Jimmy Kimmel Live, ABC, 11:35 p.m.: Comedian/actor Amy Schumer, politician Jaime Harrison. Billy Eichner guest hosts.
- Late Night With Seth Meyers, NBC, 12:36 a.m.: Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, Leslie Jones.
- The Late Late Show With James Corden, CBS, 12:37 a.m.: Actor Jeff Goldblum, music from James Blake.
- A Little Late With Lilly Singh, NBC, 1:36 a.m.: Actress Abigail Spencer, Rodrigo Santoro, Michael Palasack.
Wednesday's sports on TV
- NWSL: Utah Royals vs. vs. OL Reign, CBS All Access, 12:30 p.m.
- EFL: West Brom Albion vs. Derby County, ESPN+, 1 p.m.
- Premier League: Manchester City vs. Newcastle United, NBCSN, 1 p.m.
- Serie A: Genoa vs. Napoli, ESPN+, 1:30 p.m.
- Serie A: Fiorentina vs. Cagliari, ESPN2, 1:30 p.m.
- Premier League: Brighton vs. Liverpool, NBCSN, 3:10 p.m.
- Serie A: Bologna vs. Sassuolo, ESPN2, 3:30 p.m.
- Serie A: Atalanta vs. Sampdoria, ESPN+, 3:45 p.m.
- Serie A: AS Roma vs. Parma, ESPN+, 3:45 p.m.
- Serie A: Torino vs. Brescia, ESPN+, 3:45 p.m.
- MLS: Orlando City SC vs. Inter Miami CF, ESPN, 8 p.m.
- NWSL: Sky Blue FC vs. Houston Dash, CBS All Access, 10 p.m.
- MLS: Nashville SC vs. Chicago Fire FC, ESPN, 10:30 p.m.
What's new on Netflix this Wednesday
- The Long Dumb Road
- Mucho Mucho Amor: The Legend of Walter Mercado (Netflix Documentary): Astrologer Walter Mercado, with 120 million viewers at his peak, was sui generis: a peacock in macho culture, a naive biz whiz, a courier of hope.
- Stateless (Netflix Original): At an Australian immigration detention center, four strangers — a troubled woman, an anguished refugee, a bureaucrat and a struggling dad — cross paths.
- Was It Love? (Netflix Original): When four very different men appear in her life, a single mother who hasn't dated in years begins to rediscover love — and herself.
- Yu-Gi-Oh!: Season 1
What's new on Hulu this Wednesday
- BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense: Season 1, Episodes 1-8 (DUBBED) (Funimation)
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