Death threats. Guilt. Sleep-deprivation. Disgraced Big Brother contestant Emily Parr reveals what life's been like since she was ousted from the Big Brother house for racism... After just five days in the Big Brother house, contestant Emily Parr was dramatically kicked out for making a racist remark to fellow housemate Charley Uchea. In an interview with heat magazine, the 19-year-old student from Bristol has revealed all about what life's been like outside the house - particularly that she's been receiving death threats. She told heat: "One said: 'I'm going to hunt you down, girl'. I am a bit nervous about going out right now. It's just about making that step. There's still a big cloud hanging over my head. I'm just waiting for some better weather to come along. I want to smile again." And Emily publicly apologised for her ill-judged comments. "I'll always be gutted by what happened," she said. "There's no amount of words that can cover how sorry and how stupid I've been. “But we've all got to move on now and all I ask from anyone reading this is that they understand what really happened and accept my apology." Emily took full responsibility for her racist blunder, adding: "It's all my own fault. I did six months of auditions, working really hard to get where I want to be and it's all over in a split second. "I broke a rule. I knew about the rules. It's completely fair that I was taken out and I understand why it's happened. It was just a complete mistake. It was an awful, stupid thing to do and I'm really, really sorry." Emily said she thought her words to fellow housemate Charley were a 'term of affection' rather than offensive. "Me and Charley were good friends in the house. I know it offended people but it's a term used rather loosely among my friends – black and white." But she vowed never to repeat the word again. "For me, this whole thing has been a learning curve. I was ignorant not to think about what I was saying," she said. Emily also told of the guilt she is now suffering over the impact that her ejection has had on her family. "My whole family's a mess. They don't deserve this – any of them. My sisters are doing their A levels. Examiners have been walking them to their cars after their exams. They're much less prepared for this stuff than me." She went on: "I haven't had any sleep. The whole family is stressed. My mother smoked the other day. I haven't seen her do that for 20-odd years. I was taken to the psychiatrist and broke down in tears constantly – pretty much non-stop for the first two days. First it was shock and devastation - second was because I'd let my family down."
