Assassin | Film review - Danny Dyer's biker hitman couldn't be more pedestrian | Movie Talk | What's on TV

(Image credit: © Signature 2015)

After implausibly falling in love with the lap-dancing daughter (Hollyoaks' Holly Weston) of one of his victims, Cockney hitman Danny Dyer goes to war with his underworld bosses - a pair of sibling gangsters played by Martin and Gary Kemp, trading on fading memories of playing the Krays in the 1990 biopic. Dyer's hard man whizzes to and from his assignments on a high-powered motorbike, but crashingly dull low-budget British crime thriller Assassin couldn't be more pedestrian.

Certificate 15. Runtime 78 mins. Director JK Amalou

Assassin is showing on Sky Movies Premiere tonight at 12.15am.

A film critic for over 25 years, Jason admits the job can occasionally be glamorous – sitting on a film festival jury in Portugal; hanging out with Baz Luhrmann at the Chateau Marmont; chatting with Sigourney Weaver about The Archers – but he mostly spends his time in darkened rooms watching films. He’s also written theatre and opera reviews, two guide books on Rome, and competed in a race for Yachting World, whose great wheeze it was to send a seasick film critic to write about his time on the ocean waves. But Jason is happiest on dry land with a classic screwball comedy or Hitchcock thriller.