This week's Below Deck Sailing Yacht season 3 episode 16 featured a tall order for our crew of the Parsifal III: their first guest wedding. Not only a guest wedding but a guest wedding on a beach. And if you're even a casual viewer of Below Deck, you know that beach set-ups rarely go smoothly, and this one was no exception.
In the penultimate episode of season 3, the crew welcomes engaged couple Allegra Gray and Gabe Szczepanek and their friends as the season's final charter guests. From the get-go, the guests were a bit more high-maintenance than usual, as their gluten-free dietary restrictions proved to be chef Marcos Spaziani's toughest preference sheet yet. And that was before he even got to the hardest bit: a three-tiered gluten-free wedding cake.
The crew — most of whom were severely hungover from the night before, with several sleeping well past their start time (hi, Marcos and Colin) — rallied to make sure they ended the charter season on a high note and gave Allegra and Gabe the beachside nuptials of their dreams. But the wedding gods had other plans.
When first mate Gary King, chief engineer Colin MacRae and junior stew Ashley Marti boat over to the Menorca beach that Captain Glenn Shepard chose as the perfect spot for the intimate wedding, the busy marina is filled with sunbathers and swimmers. "What the f*ck?" Colin exclaims upon arrival. "They should just get married on the boat."
"There's a f*ckload of people on this beach and I don't want to f*ck up these people's wedding," Ashley says in a confessional.
"F*cking hell, this is the worst day," Gary concurs.
But Captain Glenn told the deckhands before they left, "Set up as wide an area as possible to discourage people from coming too close," so that's what they do, even as bikini-clad vacationers frolic around both sand and surf. They pop a white tent to cover the drink station and plunk some artificial floral arrangements into the sand. The whole rushed set-up "looks like a Halloween prank," Colin says, and frankly, he's not wrong.
At least the bride-to-be looks like a wedding magazine cover girl, in an elaborate gown from New York's famous Kleinfeld Bridal. "I went with a very subtle look," Allegra jokes. The formal frock does make deboarding the tender quite difficult, with Colin having to carry the bride onto the beach.
The ceremony itself is a sweet affair, with Captain Glenn officiating and Colin providing some procession music on his guitar, though people creeping on the event from nearby kayaks probably wasn't what the bride and groom had in mind for their intimate exchanging of vows.
At the end of it all, the bride throws the bouquet—which chief stew Daisy Kelliher catches, causing her on-again, off-again smooch partner Gary to throw himself into the ocean and yell, "I'm not marrying you, Daisy!"
Fans react to Below Deck Sailing Yacht season 3 episode 16
For me, I’d have had the wedding on the Parsifal. Much more private. #BelowDeckSailingYacht pic.twitter.com/S48POANRjuJune 14, 2022
#BelowDeckSailingYacht #belowdecksailing risky move leaving the bride to be alone in a boat with gary pic.twitter.com/BtdteIQcC8June 14, 2022
#BelowDeckSailingYachtThe plastic flowers stuck in the sand as an aisle border...good grief ..so tackyTheir budget is unlimited.. no excuse not to have fresh flowers..June 14, 2022
So no one thought to look for an alternate location, and they left decor to Ashley? 🤮#belowdecksailingyachtJune 14, 2022
No white suite for the groom? whatever, he's happy. #belowdeck #belowdecksailing #belowdecksailingyachtJune 14, 2022
No flowers or veil? 💐#BelowDeckSailingYacht #BelowDeckSailingJune 14, 2022
The last minute beach set-ups always stress me. If we're planning a big private event on the beach, maybe we should have, oh Idk, a private spot on the beach... #belowdecksailing #belowdecksailingyacht #bdsy pic.twitter.com/T42yZJ53oEJune 14, 2022
Can't imagine getting married without family #BelowDeckSailingYachtJune 14, 2022
If you don't have access to a private beach, don't agree to anything "intimate beach ceremony" to the guests #belowdeck #belowdecksailing #belowdecksailingyachtJune 14, 2022
No flowers?? C'mon Daisy! #BelowDeckSailingYachtJune 14, 2022
Honestly, why wouldn't that beach be really crowded? Why is Gary surprised?? #BelowDeckSailingYachtJune 14, 2022
#belowdecksailing #belowdecksailingyacht This beach looks like the wave pool at a theme park. Mad crowded pic.twitter.com/sL7uN0GUwUJune 14, 2022
So much for an intimate beach moment... #BelowDeckSailingYacht #BelowDeckSailing pic.twitter.com/LKWwHkqudPJune 14, 2022
How Do You Get Married Without You’re Parents Or Grandparents #BelowDeckSailingYacht pic.twitter.com/pQkS5caJ6nJune 14, 2022
You can watch Below Deck Sailing Yacht every Monday at 8 pm ET/PT on Bravo in the US and on Hayu the next day in the UK.
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Christina Izzo is the Deputy Editor of My Imperfect Life. More generally, she is a writer-editor covering food and drink, travel, lifestyle and culture in New York City. She was previously the Features Editor at Rachael Ray In Season and Reveal, as well as the Food & Drink Editor and chief restaurant critic at Time Out New York.
When she’s not doing all that, she can probably be found eating cheese somewhere.