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Sir Terry Wogan liked a laugh… Here are 12 of his wittiest remarks

Sir Terry Wogan was one of the most enduring broadcasters of his generation with more than 40 years at the top of his profession – and part of that appeal was his wit and wisdom.

Here are some of his best-known quotes – his wry, rambling thoughts on life that helped him achieve the UK’s biggest and most loyal audience.


1. On his radio show audience passing the eight million mark

(Katie Collins / PA)

(Katie Collins / PA)


“Hang on: there’s 60 million people in the country – what are the other 52 million listening to?”


2. On fruit flies

Terry Wogan, Sue Cook and Derek James at Broadcasting House in London.

(David Jones / PA)


“Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.”


3. On his golden rule of broadcasting

Sir Terry Wogan.

(Katie Collins/PA)


“Get on your toes, keep your wits about you, say goodnight politely when it’s over, go home and enjoy your dinner.”


4. On fame

Sir Terry Wogan.

(Stefan Rousseau/PA)


“The price of fame? Who in their right mind would want to pay it?”


5. On his marriage

Terry Wogan with his wife Lady Helen.

(Adam Davy/EMPICS Sport)


“If the present Mrs Wogan has a fault – and I must tread carefully here – this gem in the diadem of womanhood is a hoarder. She never throws anything out. Which may explain the longevity of our marriage.”


6. On a man’s success

Terry Wogan samples an oyster at a reception.

(PA Archive)


“Could it be that behind every great man there’s a woman working him with her foot?”


7. On appearances

Terry Wogan reveals his waxwork

(PA Archive)


“Go out and face the world secure in the knowledge that everybody else thinks they are better looking than they are as well.”


8. On his opinions

Sir Terry Wogan.

(Dominic Lipinski/PA)


“My opinion has the weight of a ton of feathers.”


9. On thin models

Sir Terry Wogan.

(Adam Davy/EMPICS Sport)


“The girls themselves resemble nothing so much as garden rakes, and bad-tempered, pouting garden rakes at that.”


10. On barbecues

Sir Terry Wogan.

(Zak Hussein/PA)


“Why do men think they know how to cook outside when they haven’t the smallest idea how to go about it indoors?”


11. On ageing

Sir Terry Wogan.

(Tim Ireland/PA)


“The only physical adornments which grow bigger with passing years are the nose and ears. The rest, regrettably, diminishes.”


12. On retirement

Sir Terry Wogan.



“Retirement is coming to all of us and, as my accountant said to me lately, 'You’d better think of taking your pension soon, otherwise it won’t be worth your while’.”

RIP, Sir Terry Wogan.